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Continue reading “Correction…” →

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When, Ms. Doris Rebecca of Bilfinger Investment Company called 911 complaining of difficulty in breathing… at that point in time my husband, Jack Glenn and his partner Albert, both EMTs; rushed to her home.

Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen. Then he began to gather her information. “What’s your age?” he asked. “Fifty-eight,” answered the patient, eyeing the beeping device on her finger. “What does that do?” “It’s a lie detector,” said Glenn with a straight face.

“Now, what did you say your age was?” “Sixty-seven,” answered the woman sheepishly.

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A man is driving down the road when he sees a car off the side of the road, on its top, and in flames. Inside, he finds a beautiful woman bleeding profusely. He rushes her to the hospital. He stays by her side day and night caring for her, even donating blood to her as and when needed.

When she is released, they continue seeing each other and get married soon after. Everything was great for a few years and then she realise that he doesn’t give a shit about anything but his money and she decides to leave him. 

She comes walking down the stairs, car keys and bulging suitcases in hand. He stops her, says: Where are you going with those keys, I bought that car, it belongs to me. She tosses him the keys and keeps walking. And those clothes and the suitcases, I’ve bought it all. She throws down the clothes and keeps walking. She gets to the door when he says: Come to think of it, about half the blood in your body belongs to me, you’re not going anywhere. She quickly reaches down and pulls out her tampon, throws it in his face and says: Fine, I’ll pay you back in monthly installments.

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John, who recently got married, is flying to Boston for business. His new bride has to join him the next day.

He e-mails his wife that he made it safely but mistypes the recipient’s address.

In Florida a grieving widow (Suzanna) whose husband (John) has recently passed away receives this e-mail. She reads it, screams and faints. Hearing her cry the granddaughter runs into the living room. Sees the computer on with a message that reads:

Dear Suzanna,

Hi…!

I have reached safely. This place is a real heaven. But sure, it is a bit hot up here. Now tomorrow it’s your turn. I Can’t wait to see you, preparing for your arrival with a big bouquet of roses.

Love John.

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Marcus meets with a terrible accident, so his penis is crushed. The doctor assures his wife that with the help of modern medicines and a few cosmetic surgeries her husband Mr. Marcus will get a new penis in a four weeks’ time.
Doctor explains the procedures would cost $54,000 for a medium size penis and $94,000 for a large size penis. The doctor further explains that they both sit and deliberate so let him know their choice by next day.

The woman answers, “She’d rather remodel the kitchen.”

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Monica Lewinsky walks into the Dry Cleaning Store. I have got another dress for you that needs to be cleaned.
The clerk behind the desk, who is old and hard at hearing immediately recognize her. I am sorry what did Bill do this time?
Oh! come-on George… this time it’s Mustard.

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“I would like to buy a pair of Italian leather gloves for my girlfriend,” this young man told the beautiful sales girl. “But I don’t know her size.” [there were no mobile phones in those days]
“Well Sir, Will this help?” said the girl, and she placed both of her hands in his. “Oh yes, that is a good idea. I must admit you are about the same size.” Well… Sir here are your girl friend’s gloves, packed in this packet.
And Thank you… Sir. “Will there be anything else I can do for you?”

“Well, now that you mention it, I think I would also get her some fancy panties and a bra.”

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An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide for this reason. The man explained, because they were considered of a lesser status. And the men folks were far superior to them.
The journalist returned three years later to cover violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead of men.
So, she asked her guide, for this sudden change. The guide answered: Landmines.

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An Australian schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a Wallabies fan.  She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Wallabies fans.  Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, “Janie, why didn’t you raise your hand?”

“Ma’am Because I’m not a Wallabies fan,” she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, “Well, if you are not a Wallabies fan, then who are you a fan of?” “I am an All Blacks fan and proud of it,” Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. “Janie, why are you an All Blacks fan?” “Because my mum is an All Blacks fan, and my dad is an All Blacks fan, so I’m an All Blacks fan too!”

“Well,” said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, “That is no reason for you to be an All Blacks fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?” “Then…Well then ma’am” Janie smiled, “I’d be a Wallabies fan.”

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However healthy or not, it is always a good thing to laugh when our normal life’s are stressful and we are constantly busy.

So use your breaks wisely, use them to enjoy others company, read some jokes and have a good laugh out of it.

I can guarantee you, that laughter gives you more energy. You will feel much more comfortable and stress-relieved after a session with laughter.

Take best care of yourself.