Sex Dating and Relations…
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The reason the Air Force, the Army and the Marines bicker among themselves is that they don’t speak the same language.
For instance, take the simple phrase: “secure the building”
The army will post guards around the place…
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors…
The marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air-force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
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FILM : THE TERMINAL
Film, “The Terminal,” is a sweet and delicate comedy, a film to make you hold your breath.
Tom Hanks is Viktor Navorski, from what was earlier USSR. He has arrived in this vast American JFK airport just as his nation, Krakozia, has fallen in a military coup. Therefore his papers, passport, visa, currency are all worthless. His country no longer exists, and he cannot go forward or go back. The film has all the time in the world. Just like Viktor Navorski. He isn’t going anywhere nor does he seem to be in any hurry.
The terminal is filled with other characters Navorski gets to know, such as Amelia Jane Warren [Catherine Zeta-Jones] the flight attendant, who is having an affair with a mature married man and finds that she can open her heart to this strange, simple man. “The Terminal” doesn’t have a plot; it tells a story. We want to know what will happen next, and we care.
In a scene Amelia is taken by customs officials to Frank Dixon’s [Stanley Tucci] office at the airport for questioning, whose impatience grows as he notices her closeness to Viktor Navorski who is staying at JFK airport, gate no: 67.
Dialogues :
Amelia: All I know is that he’s a building contractor, living out of a suitcase. That’s it.
Frank Dixon: He is a contractor…? Yeah…? That’s what he said…? I am curious. You are the kind of woman who can get any guy she wants. Why Viktor Navorski…?
Amelia: That’s something a guy like you could never understand.
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Well… Ewa Sonnet is my personal favourite. She is tall, bold and beautiful. She’s slim-n-trim and has an attractive bikini babes figure. A sexy body to put-on a bikini and flaunt, one that’s just out of this world.
Look, she’s got some terrific breasts, those are huge juicy and voluptuous. This is a natural God gifted asset. A gifted beautiful body.
These are some of her super natural qualities those make her “Number One” choice in the industry, which many would envy.
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A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex.
“What were you and dad doing?”
The mom said:”Simple… we were baking the cake.”
The little boy asked his mom:”Were you and dad baking a cake on the sofa, in the living room too?”
She asked the boy, how he knew that.
Because I licked the frosting off the couch!
It was sweet!
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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver for overspeeding.
She politely asks him to step out of the car that he willingly does.
Now she says: “Stay quiet. Anything you say can and will be held against you.”
He replies: “BREASTS”
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Joe is on his last day at work as mailman.
He receives many “Thank-you” cards and some monetary gifts along his route. When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who invites him in for lunch. Joe happily accepts.
After lunch, the woman invites him up to the bedroom which Joe happily accepts again.
So when they are done, the woman gives him a dollar. Joe asks her, what was this dollar all about. The woman replies: “Well, It was my husband’s suggestion. When I told him that it was your last day at work he said: “Oh Fuck him! give a bloody dollar”.
But see, the lunch was my idea.
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Harry always insisted on making love in the dark. In his six years of marriage, one night his wife turns on the lights, so to discover, him holding a vibrator.
She goes wild: You impotent bastard. How could you lie to me all these years? You swindler… who do you think you are…?
Harry looks straight into her eyes and calmly says: OK Sweetheart… “I’ll explain the toy. You explain the kids…”
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Newlywed couple wanted to join the church. The pastor told them: “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couple agreed and came back after the period ended.
We are afraid Pastor we couldn’t get through the two weeks, without being intimate, the young man replied. “What happened?” inquired the pastor. “My wife was reaching-out for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. While she bent over to pick it up, I overcame with lust and took advantage of her right there.”
“Oh…So you understand… that means you are not welcome in our church.” stated the pastor.
“That’s okay,” said the young man. “We aren’t welcome at the grocery store either anymore.
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Nadir a Pakistani boy takes admission in an American school. The teacher tells him that as now he’s an American, his new name would be Johnny.
The boy goes home to enlighten his parents regarding the new development in School, so to call him Johnny and not Nadir anymore.
Naturally, the parents get offended on this and thrash him up.
Next day he is back in school all bruised up.
Teacher: What happened to you Johnny?
Madam… I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.
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There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company.
In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?”
The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and a seven inches bolt!”
So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
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In a Muslim neighborhood: The mother asks her twelve year son. How was your school Ali?
School? Yeh!…Yeah!….School. It was really great mum, today we made explosives and learned how to make and throw bombs at other people’s homes.
Mother: Ooh! They do very fancy stuff with you these days and what will you do at school tomorrow.
Ali: What school…?
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An older lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs.
The dentist said: Please excuse me, I am not a gynecologist… I know, I know, said the old lady – I want you to immediately remove my husband’s dentures… from here soon…!
QUEEN OF HEARTS 