Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. “I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.” The next day, Mrs. Wilson receives a telephone call from AEC (Atlanta Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
“Am I speaking to Mrs. Wilson?”
“Yes. Speaking.”
AEC guy: “You’re a month overdue, you know!”
“How do you know?” stammers the young woman.
“Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the AEC guy.
“What are you saying? It’s in your files. How?”
“Yes. We have a system of finding out who’s overdue.”
“GOD! This is too much.”
“Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue.”
“I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow.”
That night, she tells her husband about the call. He is mad as a bull and rushes down to AEC office the next morning.
“What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.
“Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at AEC, “It’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.”
“Pay you? And if I refuse?”
“Well, in that case, Sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.”
“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.
“I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.
Steve is showing off his new sports car to the girlfriend. Suzie is thrilled at the speed of 150 mph. She opens two cans of beer offers one to Steve and takes off all her clothes right down to the bra and panties. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skids onto some gravel and flips over. Suzie is thrown in clear, but Steve gets jammed beneath the steering wheel.
“Go and get help!” he cries.
“But I can’t. I’m naked and my clothes are gone!”
“Take my shoes”, he said, “and cover yourself.”
Holding the shoes over her thing, Suzie runs down the road and finds a service station.
Still holding the shoes between her legs, she pleads to the service station attendant, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!”
The attendant looks at the shoes and says, “There’s nothing I can see…is he too far in?”
A young husband and wife were sunning nude on a beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman’s vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash for the hospital.
After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp.
The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn’t rise to the occasion. “if neither of you object,” the medic said, “I could give it a try.“ Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor’s thrust continued for several long minutes. “Hey, Doctor… What the hell is happening?”
“Change of plans,” The physician panted. “I’m going to drown the little bastard!.“
QUEEN OF HEARTS 